When Does Pregnancy Feel Real? – There Is No Right Or Wrong

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There is no defined time or week in which everyone has at the same time and suddenly it all feels real. It actually happens to everyone at different points in time and I want to let you into a secret, sometimes you will forget and have that moment all over again.

Pregnancy is different for every single person and different again for every single partner going through it. There are no right or wrong feelings and it is all about your situation, person and relationship which might change the outcome of your feelings and the sense that your pregnancy is real.

We were pregnant at the same time a lot of family were, friends and friends of family and so we felt we were surrounded by pregnant couples and families going through what we were too so we heard all the stories and variations to situations. One of these were when they felt the pregnancy felt real to them and how they felt about it.

I wanted to write this to express a little of what we personally felt during our pregnancy, some reason why you feel like it isn’t real yet and some funny times that might resonate with you or simply make you laugh.

When Will Pregnancy Feel Real?

Pregnancy and becoming parents is widely different for each and every person, there is no situation, journey and experience that is exactly the same so please don’t think because some of these things haven’t happened to you that you are wrong, something is wrong or that you are abnormal in any way.

This really depends on the type of person you are, your relationship and your situation. Some couples and families don’t believe or feel like they are having a baby until the baby is actually in their arms. This can be a number of reasons from struggling to get pregnant to having past miscarriages or even complicated health issues.

For some it can be completely different and have no issues getting pregnant, are fit and healthy people but still can’t quite get their head around the idea that they are pregnant. This can be down to a number of things and nothing that is unusual or wrong in any way.

Some on the other hand may find pregnancy is quite real from the sight of a positive pregnancy test going forward, whether this is because they are relieved, excited or just understand and something falls into place. Whatever your circumstances remember that your feelings of excitement, happiness, relief or even those of the negative side are not wrong.

There are of course other occasions in which you may feel like your pregnancy becomes real to you and your partner. Some of these occasions are listed below;

  • The first scan at 12 weeks, as this is your first official sighting of your baby
  • Your first midwife appointment
  • When you buy your first baby item – this can feel surreal for many as it makes the experience and reality very real
  • When your bump starts to round out and ‘pop
  • Any other scan appointment
  • When others notice how big you are getting
  • Telling friends and family can often make it very real

If you don’t happen to feel like it is real at any of these times then please don’t worry as it may be something small and not momentous like not being able to tied your shoe laces, not being able to shave your legs or for partners it might be a day where they have to run to 5 different supermarkets to find those sweets your craving.

Remember whatever kind of ‘category’ you fit into isn’t wrong, each person handles every life situation differently and so this is just another example of a life situation that every single person has a different view point on. If you do however feel like you aren’t feeling the way you should, feeling down or depressed please speak to a midwife, doctor or medical professional to seak help.

Our Experience

When pregnant with our first child we had gone through IVF and was successful on the first transfer. As this was a long process and we knew everything that was happening it felt real but also not. We found the whole experience very smooth and calming (we had very little upset or complications thankfully) so I think overall we kind of breezed through it and then we were pregnant.

We didn’t have a definite life-changing moment of realizing we were pregnant and that was it. We actually had a number of times where things kind of kept getting more real, almost like levels. Because I think between appointments with the midwife and scans you kind of just get on with life.

Yes, you will probably start prepping for a little one at some point but essentially you will still both have work or your daily routine that you will have been doing before getting pregnant anyway so these things come back and carry on day to day. So we found that between midwife appointments and scans life felt pretty normal and average.

So for us our very first scan (7 weeks viability) scan felt real, that was the real confirmation that we were pregnant but we knew there was still a long way to go and we had to be careful so we didn’t get too excited or carried away. The second time it felt real was at our 12 week scan, this was when we were out of the danger zone, Cora could breath a little and we could feel a little better about the rest of the journey ahead.

Onwards from the 12 week scan we had little moments while shopping and planning that meant we had to make certain decisions or things I couldn’t eat and small things that made us stop and realise we were pregnant and having a baby.

We then had an early gender scan where we found our the sex of our baby and that was exciting as we had the name picked out and had already being calling the baby by the name. We found that moment quite real and exciting as we were well approaching half way and knew who was in there.

After that feelings like feeling the baby move for the first time together was surreal and amazing and that was kind of a wow moment for me personally as I thought I had felt things before but as the baby grew the movements got bigger and stronger and knowing Cora could feel them too was amazing.

6 Unexpected Times Pregnancy Becomes Real

These are some of the moments we encountered and have heard about from friends and family that had children and so these may resonate with you or just simply make you laugh.

1. When You Are Trying To Shave Your Legs

There are many different things that will happen during pregnancy that you won’t even realise you would miss or have to miss because you are pregnant. For example shaving your legs, whether in the shower or the bath, sooner or later that little bump of yours is going to have a huge say and get in the way.

My personal reference point was around 21 weeks where I knew I could do with shaving my legs but the effort of getting round my bump that particular day was too much as so I decided to just cover up my legs instead!

2. When Your Favourite Food Becomes The Enemy

There are certain foods I really enjoyed and loved having but when I became pregnant they quickly turned into foods that would make me feel sick and queasy. This can be anything from things you eat everyday or foods that you can no longer eat because they aren’t safe.

This can be a low point in the pregnancy as sometimes you really just want something to make you feel better and get you over those tired days and moody slumps.

3. When You Crave Really Weird Food

Tried that werid craving of custard and chips yet? While I didn’t quite discover these myself I heard of plenty of people wanting to eat weird and wonderful concoctions to suit their cravings.

As you know in your non pregnancy mind you wouldn’t have thought about putting these foods together and even think of enjoying eating them so this is a clear sign that you are really pregnant and your hormones are well and truly working their weird and wonderful magic.

4. When You Realise The Price Of Baby Stuff

This is definitely a highlight and a low point, especially if you are having your first baby and you haven’t really looked into the price and travel systems before. We were honestly shocked and couldn’t believe the amount of stuff they need and how expensive things cost.

Whether you are looking online or in a store you will definitely start to get those eyes that pop out of your head from disbelief.

5. When You Go To 5 Different Supermarkets To Find The Right Snack

I have to laugh at this because I fell in love with jelly fruit sweets within my first trimester and in particular wine gums but the Sainbury’s own brand. So if anyone was visiting or we were going to Sainbury’s I would try and get them so I had a stock of them, this happened with percy pigs at M&S and the 3 pack snack sausage rolls at M&S.

There may be a point in which you or your partner require something very specific and it may only be sold in one place and it can be funny and frustrating to try and track them down.

6. Realising Your Pet Is No Longer The Baby In The Family

While we have a cat she actually lives with my in-laws (long story) but she is still our baby and so we refer to her as our baby and the apple of of eye. We make jokes that she is going to hate the baby (because shes a diva) and it is less attention on her.

If you have a pet and they are the apple of your eye you might have the stark reality that they might not be for much longer and that a little person is going to be taking the spotlight and the attention from everyone.